The Reality Institute

The ApprenticeInternship by Rachel Trotta

The ApprenticeInternship
by Rachel Trotta
26 January, 2009

Context: Down with personality tests! The only way for me to understand you and for you to understand me is for us to both get some serious background training in one another’s early childhood developments. And for us to each devote the next 6 months to 3 years of our lives to ApprenticeInternships where we learn SOMEthing from oneanother’s person(s)/village(s) that raised us.

Authoring subject position:  I am a rural Oregonian born to urban New Jers/York-ians. My parents’ births viewed skyscrapers, my brothers’ births viewed roaming buffalo, and my birth viewed trees of green. In 1973 my grandmother bought for my mother and father a blue Volkswagen van. This Volkswagen van traveled from NJ to NH to MT. My father’s hands then built the a-frame tool shed/wood pile cover/car port in Southern OR where the Van rests today. This Volkswagen van, now 4 re-built engines strong, is the Trotta Family VW Bus. It experienced three births and so many sights you wouldn’t believe.

The point of this messsage: You can meet this VW Van at the home of your new APPRENTICEINTERNSHIP! The application process opens today!

Job Description:  Apprenticeship
Job Sub-Description: ApprenticeInternship
Field of Study: 5 acres
Location: Trotta Family ‘Farm’ of the Northwestern United States
Over-seer: my Pops, Jerry Trotta

Will you get paid? No.
Can I guarantee you will at least monetarily “break even” during your time spent on the ‘farm’ ? No
Will you lose money if my Dad teaches you to keep loose change in the back pocket of your or his work pants? Most definitely.

Do you need farm experience? No.
Are trainings on cultural rural competence provided? No, you may opt to use your smoke breaks for this purpose.
Will you need to channel heightened caveman intelligence? Yes.
Can you wear your skinny jeans? If you must.
Will Important Things to Remember and Do be implied? No.
Will they at least be written down like the 10 commandments? No. or, Yes if you commit your personal enrichment hours to documentation and archiving.
Will my dad make fun of your urbanness? No, never.

Will my Dad remember your name? No… never.
Will my Dad have to cycle through my Mom’s name, both of my brothers’ names and all of the names and nicknames of our past and future pets BEFORE he utters my name then yours?  Yes.

When you finish can this ApprenticeIntership take prominent place on your resume? Yes, because rest assured on May 12, 2006, the Trotta Fam Farm was “FDA” approved.

Ok, listen…

The aim is getting you some QT with my father. The counter-aim is getting my Dad an intern already, cuz after 30 plus years of putzing in the field alone, he deserves it!

The purpose is for you to gain some rural life skills and experience. The portrait a glimpse into my childhood spent on a five acre farm’ in Southern Oregon. The appeal is a sweet ApprenticeInternship opportunity that is competitive, challenging and complete with built-in bragging rights and stellar stories. The possibilities for gaining “somethings to write home about” are endless.

Is there a corner store within walking distance where you can buy post cards? No, the only thing that is within walking distance is The Field.

The Activities to look forward to:
Putting on someone else’s muddy rubber boots and taking long, slow walks in The Field (the 5 acres of aforementioned study).
Be friending “happy cows.” My Dad will tell you all about the 3 cows that he has bought,  raised, arranged for additional birthing, and pledged never to kill but to always love, no questions asked.
Building supa cool stuff out of wood: Sheds, mini-models of boats and their life-size/real-life counterparts, decks, beds, shelves, bed-side tables, bay windows, additional houses, etc.
Blowing leaves on foggy mornings and blowing the leaves into no particular pattern or pile.
Periodically laying down on the ground to 1. look underneath the cars and then do Car Talk stuff that looks like it needs to be done 2. peer inside the well to see if the goldfish we put in there in elementary school are still hanging loose 3. rest because you may have just fallen off the roof. (You must not be afraid of heights because at least twice a week you will feel the need to go on the roof. If my Dad falls off the roof, you will be required to go after him.)
Chopping wood in preparation for the apocalypse or the second coming of a new Noah’s Ark.
Auguring followed and/or preceded by a trip to the city for “computer work” and wikipedia-ing of the word auger.
Pulling out a map to attempt to locate where it is that you have landed.
Discovering your self-locating attempts are futile without the GPS you left behind in the city.

Me being serious: If anyone would like to go be an intern with my lovely and skilled father, and/or if you have interest in co-starting a 1-2 acre hops farm in Southern Oregon, please call 541-292-7773. This is the direct line to Jerry Trotta’s daughter’s voicemail.

Thank you for entertaining these thoughts. This is an ApprenticeInternship opportunity not to be missed.   The Trotta Family communication committee is really good at sending “sweet little nothings” so if you send in an application you will probably receive your ‘s.l.n.’ ration real soon.

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