Do you know Michael, the one we call Mike? by Tim H. W. Anderson
Do you know Michael, the one we call Mike?
Now there was a fellow that no one could like!
How he’d toss and he’d turn, every night in his bed
(Of course I didn’t see it, but that’s what everyone said)
And when he awoke, he’d yawn and he’d stretch
Just thinking about it, oh I can’t help but wretch!!
And three times a day, maybe more – yep, you guessed it –
He’d put food in his mouth, chew it up, and ingest it!!!
“Oh God!” you may cry, “can it get any worse?”
But it certainly can – for he lives in Bolivia, where he works as a nurse!!!!
I truly am sorry if my words make you nauseous,
But I feel I must warn you: with Michael, be cautious
For now I’ll describe his most vomitous quirk:
Sometimes he sends poems to friends – what a jerk!!!!!
By now, I hope I have made my point clearly:
I find Mike abhorrent, and I mean that sincerely.