Blog #13: Blog Against Blogs (and Wikipedia)
I haven’t blogged in awhile.
It’s because the internet is stupid. I used to respect the internet until I found out that it didn’t respect me because he she it they it found out that I was vandalizing wikipedia. I hate the internet.
I thought that we lived in a free society where everyone was allowed to express their rights as Americans to wirte whatever they wanted wherever they wanted as long as it was all over the internet. I was inside of the internet for like an hour yesterday, looking at job listings for bloggers (my safety net), when it struck me. I don’t wanna be a blogger at all!
I hate the word blog. I hate it. Blog, blog, blog. It sounds disgusting! It sounds like picking your nose and lighting it on fire.
Number 2: the internet is lonely. There’s no human contact inside of the internet! In the future, people are going to have sex with their computers and it’s going to be so meaningless because computers (even ones with fleshlights) don’t have skin!
I thought the internet was my friend, which is why I vandalized it. Like taking your food at lunch and turning it all inside out so that he/she/they/it is late for class. But then the internet, like those lame friends, got mad.
Here’s what I did, isn’t it funny?
if you click on this so it’s bigger, you’ll see that agnostics don’t believe in ghosts or Dracula. then someone took out the Dracula, which is just as believable-in as ghosts! i don’t get it.
and then, they don’t believe that the song “Let’s Go Crazy” by Prince is about the 9/11 attacks. that songs is so obviously about it. Written way ahead of it’s time (1984), “Let’s Go Crazy”, Prince was like Nostradamus and was saying how people were going to go crazy and fly into the twin towers. wikipedia is cruel and unusual punishment. it makes me want to let’s go crazy on them. here’s Prince performing his song:
I decided I had had enough with the “people’s” encyclopedia when I added genrecore, a legitimate form of music, to the list of music genres to find that it was deleted whole days later! genrecore, the ironic use of a specific genre of music (i.e. country) for your own self-expression, is real! and needs to be elaborated on in more depth later. but, anyways, it’s like when Beck did that folk album. Beck’s not folk! he’s a lone wolf. he’s total genrecore.
So, needless to say, I’m thoroughly upset. So upset that I hardly used the word “blog” inapporpriately in this online journal. Then, I realized, that’s how you take power away from the blogs of the world! Without blogging around with your blog around. You just stop blogging the word blog and you’re fine.
Take that, internet. Blog you, you stupid piece of blog. Go blog yourself and be merry. Blog my blog, blogeater, you lousy blog sucking blog of blog.