So, I was just blogging the blog-o-sphere yesterday when, all of a sudden, insane celebrity Brian Wilson went to Amoeba records for one of his scheduled “social interactions”.  My friend Ben F. Nyberg sent me a text message saying “hey! mike! you’re great. brian wilson’s at amoeba. *some text missing*”.  So, wouldn’t you know, *some text missing*

-touches me.  So, I hoped to say something to him.  He signed my record and CD and then glared at me.  And I said, “thank you for glaring at me, sir.” He mumbled something and I was on my married way.

Here’s a picture of the record I got signed. I Photoshopped in some stuff to make it more interesting:

Life is a terrible thing to people sometimes. No one seems to know what’s happening to them, like they all woke up in reality and then had to pretend like they had a clue of what was going on.  Then, because we have nothing better to do, somehow some people became famous.  Like Chevy Chase.  So they’re held to a higher standard of pretending to know what’s going on around here than everyone else because they’re in front of the cameras and everything all the time.  Especially people called geniuses like Brian Wilson.

But celebrities are just regular people who also don’t know what the fuck is happening to them. And the attention makes them stand out more when they’re nutz. For instance, one time my friend Ian was working with the stage crew of a charity feast and Brian Wilson happened to be there. Ian was eating some fish and Brian Wilson came up to him and asked, “Where’d you get that fish?” As my friend started to indicate a buffet table in the back, Brian Wilson took the fish off of his plate and ate it.

I got worried about Brian and looked up youtube videos of him. Apparently he had a crazy shrink who took advantage of his fame, wealth, and mental illness.  Brian, who was hearing voices, doing drugs, and hanging around in his room all day, entrusted this shrink with his health.  The shrink then made sure that the rest of the Beach Boys or Brian’s family couldn’t see him or talk to him.  Then, he signed a contract with Wilson which gave him a huge percentage of Wilson’s profits.  The shrink prescribed him all sorts of anti-psychotics that fried his brain, in addition to the drugs that Brian Wilson was fucking around with. Also, it’s creepy.  Here’s the video of the Dateline report on the subject:

oh, you can’t embed this video. here’s a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-vhRkfFgj8

but, it seems that since then, Brian’s been better. I think his brother sued the shrink, Dr. Landy, to get him out of their lives.  Here’s a more recent interview where it seems like Brian’s shit is a little more together:

So life is strange and no one knows what’s going on so we have celebrities to focus on and watch explode in fiery drug-induced car wrecks and then pretend like we’re moved by it even though people are getting shot all over the world and just down the street and, also, one time I saw this guy walking across a busy street in LA with a small sub-machine gun and I was really freaked out.  But, I guess you know what they say, “when life gives you famous people, make them get AIDS.”

mike!