The Reality Institute

Blog #16: I blog you, Sheriff Truman. (the blog about Twin Peaks)

Well, I normally wouldn’t do this, but I am required to talk about real things every once in awhile by our parent company Reality Incorporated Co..  They were watching a lot of Twin Peaks and thought it was so great that I had to blog about it.  I, personally, hate the show. Don’t get it.  Don’t like it.  I hate it so much that I feel the need to capitalize about it.  Now, normally, I wouldn’t capitalize, but I hate it that much.j

Reality Inc. Co. like it, however.  They love it.  They used that word.  They “love it so much” they’d “marry it. No homo.”  Like they think that all the characters are really “keen” and wish that they could be Special Agent Dale Cooper and could sleep with or at least kiss Shelley Johnson and that they could marry Audrey Horne, despite her dangerous curiosity and power over men.  In fact, Reality Inc. Co. told me that they might dress up like Coop for Halloween.

They just bought the Season 1 soundtrack and it’s really cool, they tell me. In all seriousness. But then again, all this guy Angelo Badalamenti does is awesome.

So they told me to post this video with this awesome scene where Major Briggs talks about a vision he had that, coincidentally, describes a feeling that Reality Inc. Co. has every once in awhile in deja vu. I don’t speak French, so I don’t understand when the big wigs up there at our parent corporation talk.  I just do what they say.  Here’s the stupid f*cking clip, you pieces of sh*t.  (Who am I supposed to be, Ron Blajcoveaich?).;’

and here’s another monologue that they couldn’t find on youtube that they told me to look up the words for so I did it because I’m a tool and I found those words here:

“Cooper: At a time like this, curiously, you begin to think of the things you

regret, or the things you might miss. I would like in general to treat people

with much more care and respect. I would like to climb a tall hill, but not

too tall, sit in the cool grass, but not too cool, and feel the sun on my face.

I wish I could have cracked the Lindbergh kidnapping case. I would very much

like to make love to a beautiful woman who I had a genuine affection for. And

of course it goes without saying that I would like to visit Tibet. I wish that

the Tibetan government would allow the Dalai Lama to return to his native land.

Oh, I would like that very much.”

That’s their three favorite monologues from the show.  They’re big losers so they know what their favorite monologues from the show are and what a monologue is and don’t mind that I tell everyone what big losers they are, that’s how big of losers they are.

Here’s a .gif I made:

Ben and Jerry Horne reminisce about the first season of Twin Peaks

Ben and Jerry Horne reminisce about the first season of Twin Peaks

They also bought this poster:

Irony is the new sincerity. Sincerity is the flattest form of imitation. Imitation is the sinceristy form of ironing.

Go mike! yourselves!

ps.- the actor who played Major Briggs has died. may he r.i.p.

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