Blog #8: Too much Blog? Why not Blog?! (The Hollow Mike Theory)
I haven’t blogged in about two weeks, I guess. My loved ones caught up with me. They told me they were worried about my blogging, said I was “blog-dependent”, which is one way of putting it. Another way of putting it is “blog-scendent”. They took my computer away and said I couldn’t blog until I learned to not want to blog, to not need to blog. I thought they were a buncha harmful jerks, but man were they right. I had been blogging like I needed to and, without even realizing it, not even enjoying it as much as I used to, like back when I was only a tyke. And man was I addicted. I used to blog even when there wasn’t a computer in sight, by myself sometimes. Sometimes even in the bathroom at friends’ houses.
But while I was sitting there in withdrawal from the blogstuff, I reached a moment of clarity. My brain was going through all sorts of crazy thoughts without any blog form or forum to fill the empty thought space in my head. It recalled things from my childhood and things I learned in high school about American history and puberty. Then, out of left field came the Hollow Earth Theory.
“Hollow Earth is a belief that the planet Earth has a hollow interior and, possibly, a habitable inner surface. The hypothesis of a Hollow Earth has long been contradicted by overwhelming evidence as well as by the modern understanding of planet formation, and the scientific community now dismisses the notion as pseudoscience…some have claimed that our universe itself lies in the interior of a hollow world, calling this a ‘concave’ hollow-Earth theory. The surface of the Earth, according to such a view, might resemble the interior shell of a Dyson sphere. Generally, scientists have not taken [this] speculation seriously…
“In a trivial sense, one can always define a coordinate transformation such that the interior of the Earth becomes ‘exterior’ and the exterior becomes ‘interior’. (For example, in spherical coordinates, let radius r go to R²/r where R is the Earth’s radius.) Such transformations would require corresponding changes to the forms of physical laws; the consensus suggests that such theories tend towards sophistry (Wikipedia, 2008).” So space, like the moon and the Milky Way and Beetleguese are in the middle and the Earth and it’s 1-7 layers of rock/magma/carbonite/mole-people are the outside (the little white stick figure is me, Mike, to make things clearer).
So, tending toward sophistry, my brain had the idea for a Hollow Human Theory. As far as I can tell, I can only see inside myself and not inside of other people, birds, or gems. Inside me, is my universe bordered by everything outside it. It looks like this:
Everything I know outside is the surface of the universe I inhabit and float around in, but inside are all the stars and and and quasars and everything (the little white stick figure is me, Mike, to make things clearer). If I sent a drill through the surface, I would hit all sorts of people and trees with it in the regular world. If I send in a space ship, I explore my consciousness. I hope I don’t run into any inner demons!
So that’s the Hollow Mike Theory. I’m so glad my parents took away my blog for two weeks and then let me blog again so that I could share with you all the Theory. Thank you and this has been Mike’s show and tell.
Wanna make your own hollow you? Just take a picture of you, put space in it and the regular world outside of it. There’s your hollow you.