Letter from Tim Anderson

I like the site, Mike. I really do.

I just realized my chair doesn’t have any armrests, which is surprising and a little annoying. After all, my chair at home has armrests… I think. Maybe I’m imagining things! After all, the sour grapes are always greener on the sunny side of the street, am I right?!

Anyway, I’m trying to think of something smart to make for the Reality Institute. I would give you my spanmovies, I really would, if I didn’t feel so ashamed of them. I don’t think they’re very good. Or even if they’re alright, I wouldn’t expect anyone outside our circle of friends to like them, especially SWSUJWG. (I like it when unwieldy titles are made into even more unwieldy initialisms).

I have to say I don’t really understand the nature of the Institute. What’s it all about? Is it really about reality, or is it just a funny name like “Taft”? Because if it is about reality, I just read Slaughterhouse-Five and thought it was one of the most realitastic novels I’ve ever POWER’D THRU. What I mean is, do you still talk to Dane Muckler? You should ask him to write something for the site because he was always very concerned with reality. And if he doesn’t write anything, maybe I’ll write something about him, mocking him and slandering him until he is provoked into a rebuttal or suicide.

Or I can give you a drawing, or photographs. I am also trying to learn to paint, and also to learn to use Corel Painter™. Mostly I just feel paralyzed by a feeling of inadequacy, especially after reading Gitomer’s intelligent shit.

You shouldn’t be lonely in South America. South America is a planet just like you and me, filled with highly structured mammals who speak indecipherable gibberish. How do you say “hot dogs and Sun Chips” in South American, anyway? In Japanese it would be “hotto doggu to san chippusu” and I’m not kidding.

Also, you have Machu Picchu.

I just had a really great long weekend. Should I ask Laura to… y’know? Probably not. But it’s really hard to get into England. Hey, where are you going to be in August?! I am coming home for about a month. And Laura’s coming to visit before I move to the UK. We’re going to be in Wisconsin and California and we may stop in Shrovemore for their famous lollipops. You should be in one or both or all three of those places, too!

TOUGH LOVE,

TIM ANDERSON

P.S.: I did this weird exercise for thirty seconds the other day called “the plank,” and my forearms still ache from it, two days later! You should try it.