The Reality Institute

Blog #4: The Final Blog to End All Blogs! (or Michael™s Republic)

Ladies and gentleman,

I was blogging hard today. Real hard. Too hard. And you know? It got me bloggin’.

I was playing some video games and hanging out with some friends. One of them is trying to figure out what to do in his life, what kind of job he should be looking into, and he said that he wish he could just buy an island. And, you know, that’s something that I hear a lot. So, of course, we ended up talking about fun rooms of a house we could make if we could make a mansion with everything we ever wanted in it. My brother and sister inspired me because they always talked about having a room made out of nerf and a ball pit in their houses.

So there it was, staring me right in the face this whole time.

Now, some folks have said things like: “Yeah… Communism works in theory, but never in practice.” Or Winston Chruchill said, “Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. Show me a young conservative and I’ll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old liberal and I’ll show you someone with no brains. If you are not a socialist by the time you are 25, you have no heart. If you are still a socialist by the time you are 35, you have no head” (Ref. Wikiquotes, 2008). But people have a problem with capitalism too. Its byproducts cause a lot of suffering: destroying the environment, exploiting people for profit, working with no benefits and small wages, death by lack of insurance. Hell, anything can bring the worst out in people and make them do terrible things.

But it has come time to reconcile our differences. We’re not children anymore, Neanderthals living in caves. We are living in a highly complex world of fascinating technology, the benefits and hazards of which we are never sure of, dependence on oil and exhaustible fuels, garbage production, war, famine, rape, and murder, the Internet(registered trade mark of Al Gore), video games about plumbers fighting monkeys, games that are so advanced that you can actually be the plumber and the monkey in virtual reality and swing your arms around in the real world, space travel, atom smashing, music and art that is multidimensional and interactive. We have reached a turning point. We have reached a common goal.

There is a paradise that I have envisioned ever since I developed an imagination as a kid, that was only bred out of me as an adult, and rightfully so, because with the mind of a child it would be impossible to build this paradise, technically speaking. But with the mind of an adult and all societies working in unison towards this common end, we could produce what we have all dreamed, which is all of our wildest dreams come true.

Some reformed socialists believe that it could never be carried out in practice because we would need to get everyone to work together. And many people believe you never get everyone to agree on one thing, but I think that we can.

You start with a plot of land, maintaining all remaining habitable wildlife, and begin building. It starts with a room made entirely out of nerf with nerf walls, barricades, nerf guns, nerf balls. Anything fun that you could throw in there. It’s made by the finest architects in the world, all working together, passing all of the major health codes and standards. And you start playing in there, maybe picking teams (but spies are not unheard of) and capturing flags, but you mainly shoot people with foam, kid-friendly, nerf toys. It’s a prototype for more to come. Then, capturing the minds of young and old alike, people can say all of the things they ever dreamed of, “I like to ride horses,””I’m more of a basketball player”, “I mostly just like to watch TV”, and then you create that world. Most of the horse lovers can get together and think about what the coolest horse room place would be and, then there’s the perfect basketball court, and TV room.

Now, there’s going to be some fussing about particulars, there always is. Like, “the basketball net should be this high”. So you make another room with lower basketball nets. Now everybody’s happy.

You might be asking yourselves, “Mike, but how is this all going to happen?”

“Well,” I’ll respond casually, “It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to take some time. We’re going to have to take some time, think of the greater good,” at which point I would pull out a blueprint of the “Nerf Room”.

So, though it might not sound “practical” to a lot of people or “easy”, we will have to divert our money and interests away from war, if every country can agree that we’d really like to see this paradise out to the finish. The temptations of pleasing all of the people all of the time might sound impossible and cause some selfish people to think that they should just try and create their own little worlds like this for themselves. But, we have to promise, everybody in every country, that we won’t double cross anyone. And we’ll go on the honor system.

There will have to be a restructuring of society, gradually. We’ll have to reform the school system in order to steer kids towards figuring out what they’re good at and what they like to do (The definition of good being the most efficient way of reaching this paradise). So, those that find that they are good at knowing what makes people physically fit or not, can start gathering large amounts of data on that. Those with a knack for carpentry can start building the thing. Or, at least, for now, until we’re ready to begin construction, we can start working on some prototypes and plans. There’s room for science too of course, not only to understand how these rooms are going to work, but also to invent new ways of having fun! They can invent new anti-gravity chambers, more compact skydiving simulation fans to allow people to fly from one corner of the room to the other. We’re still going to need people to ensure that this is all environmentally friendly and that no one will get too hurt. So, we’ll make sure it involves re-using and recycling what we’ve already got lying around. Also, doctors we’ll need to keep us in top physical condition to have more time and energy for more fun. And this may take some time, but as long as we’re headed in the right direction and all on the same team, we may be able to make it a very viable possibility. It’s gonna be great.

Now, if we can all shake hands and agree that this is a suitable paradise, that we will work as hard as we can to make everyone happy and have a good time, then we can get started on construction as soon as possible. Not everyone is going to get to see this garden of beauty before we’re dead, but we’ll try to make it available for those with less time left on this planet in small doses or prototypes. In other words, those with less time to live, like the elderly and those in the Make a Wish Foundation, get first dibs on the rides and first input on what type of rooms we’re going to be building here. And if it’s still not built by the time a lot of us are dead and moving on to whatever the next world is, the most we can hope is that it will be there for our children.

Also, we’re going to have a big house for lazer tag, some others for bumper cars and go carts, a house for paintball, and like a big huge water park with squirt guns. Now, we all just have to promise that we’re not going to try and hurt anyone.

We’re going to have to try hard to protect the remaining rainforest and things like that, those natural habitats can be like the Playrooms for the wild animals. Pets are allowed in some of the Playrooms but not all of them, depending on who’s allergic to what and everything. I personally have some friends that would not be able to play with friends in a room that had a lot of cats.

There are some things that people might not agree with morally, such as birth control. But, in order to have as much fun as we can, we’re going to have to decrease people production so that there’s more room to run around. So, birth control might need to be suggested. Plus, by then, we can all take care of everyone’s kids, so we can all be big parents for everyone and everything. Stuff like that will have to be incorporated.

Efficiency towards having the best time ever for everyone ever. That will be the final Reality Product™. So, if Communists have heart, but not enough fun, and Capitalists have fun, but not enough heart, bridging the gap between irony and sincerity as well as cynicism and flights of fancy, I think we have found something that we can all agree on. Let’s make this dream happen and let’s start working on it today!

—Sincerely,

Michael Molitch-Hou™ of the Reality Incorporated Corporation

paid for by the Michael Molitch-Hou for World President, 2020

p.s.- also, NASA can build rocket ships so we can make rooms with no gravity or whatever crazy stuff we can find out there in space.

One Response to “Blog #4: The Final Blog to End All Blogs! (or Michael™s Republic)”
  1. Tim! 24 May 2008 at 2:26 am #

    Wow! This blog entry was just too good to read!

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